hell yes lets make some ravioli
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
