So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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