I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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