I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
