Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
