i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
