Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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