I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
