garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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