I am spending my child support on dildos
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
