I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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