Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
