Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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