Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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