We won't sleep together?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
