You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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