They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
