who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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