Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
