wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
my shit smells like andre
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
