Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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