You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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