So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
