did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
