What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
