I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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