I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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