doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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