Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
