I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Never underestimate the power of titties
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
