Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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