Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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