she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize