Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
