just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
