Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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