Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
being pregnant is like rehab
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize