you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
