Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
