She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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