week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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