Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
