Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
