No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize