# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
