I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize