Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
