the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
