smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
