You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
