You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize