i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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