we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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