Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
