I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
