My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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