i wish my penis had a tongue
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
