You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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