i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
