Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
