Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
