i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
My first STD was from a foam party
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
