I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
It was confusing and full of hummus
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
They have beer where we have blood.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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