He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
