Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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