we have officially lost it.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize