Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
