OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
