My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize
