Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
